Silhouettes
by AMiserableLove
Summary: Collection of unrelated works of various lengths and ratings, prompted on tumblr. Bethyl only. *some pieces may contain smut* Update-Chapter 4 has now been fixed, sorry for any confusion!
1. Chapter 1

_So I've already written three little drabbles in the past week or so and have decided to give them all a home in one place (will be taking some of my previously posted drabbles and uploading them here as well). This will be a collection of unrelated works of various lengths and ratings, although most will probably be no higher than a** T** there's a possibility that it could go up...let's not pretend I'm not a smut author after all eh ;) If that happens I'll place a warning before that particular piece._

_Enjoy and please review! Thanks! :)_

**Tumblr prompt: Hi! I really need a fic where Daryl doesn't meet up with Joe and the other guys. Instead he keeps looking for Beth and rescues her leading to a really sweet first kiss. Could you write it?**

***note - -this is NOT how I see things going down, I definitely don't think Daryl will play the white knight. If and when Beth escapes I think it'll be on her own or with someone elses help entirely. I don't think we'll get anything close to a kiss anytime soon and I'm completely okay with that. But for the sake of the prompt...I tried***

**Disclaimer I don't own The Walking Dead.**

**Review Please! :)**

* * *

It takes three days for him to find her.

And when he scoops her up into his arms—the familiar scent of leather, sweat and dirt invading her nose—she can't help the muffled sob that escapes her lips. Her head dropping limply to his chest, and her eyes squeezing shut tight, she tries to calm her breathing as he carries her out of the room, whispering in her ear in a gruff yet surprisingly gentle voice, for her to keep her eyes closed and not to look; his grip shifting a little and holding her closer as he carefully moves down the long staircase towards the front door, intent on leaving her house of horrors behind.

She looks anyway.

And she knows she should be alarmed by the intense thrill of satisfaction she feels as she sees the beaten and mangled bodies of those who had taken her littered across the floor. But tired, and weak, and unbelievably grateful she allows herself the small moment of pure unadulterated relief.

When they get outside the sunlight is harsh and unforgiving, the air cool and welcoming, and she squints and burrows, if possible, even deeper into his hold, her eyes having trouble adjusting after being locked away for days on end in the small and cramped room, her lungs greedily breathing in the fresh and crisp air.

Taking the car that had been used to abduct her, its darkened windows making her cringe a little, her heart racing as memories of the night they had stolen her away from him sneak into her brain, they drive to a cabin not too far away from where she'd been kept, a small little shack in the middle of nowhere, one he tells her he had found the second night into his search for her.

Once inside, he guides her to the small bed that sits in the corner of the main room and helps her clean the bloodied cuts that mar the pale skin of her wrists, the rope burns and deep scratches sending a stinging pain shooting up her arms as he gently wipes away the dirt and grime with what she supposes passes for a clean rag these days—his eyes focused and lips set in a thin and hard line.

Hands shaking, and chest heaving a little at both his close proximity and unwavering attention, she sucks in a sharp breath as the cloth passes over her reddened and sore skin, the small sound bringing his focus back to her and causing his eyes to narrow slightly, something that closely resembles concern flickering in his gaze.

"Hurts a little." she whispers softly, her throat feeling dry, pulse jumping and racing rapidly as he nods and sweeps his thumb across her wrist lightly—the tender gesture coupled with the rough calloused feel of his finger sending a burn and thrill shooting through her body, her eyes widening a little as she watches the steely blue of his gaze darken, his posture stiffening and jaw clenching tightly.

"You hurt anywhere else?"

There's an edge to his tone, something low and almost threatening, the beginnings of fury lighting in his stare, his obvious anger only dimmed by the dark shadows of fear that linger in his gaze.

"I'm alright." Her tone is soft and if her words waver and her breath hitches a little, she tells herself it's from exhaustion; she's not a little girl and she doesn't get to cry over a few nights spent tied up and alone in a cold and dark room, the sounds of her abductors murmured conversations drifting to her ears.

It could've been worse.

Could've been a lot worse.

Something passes over his features, his hardened expression melting away; emotions—concern, fear, relief, and something else she can't quite pinpoint—playing out over his face before he draws his hand away from her wrist completely and motions to the bed.

"Sleep."

The word hangs somewhere between a gruff command and a softly spoken request, and closing her eyes for a moment she allows herself a tiny smile at the raspy and familiar tone; the warm feeling of his presence at her side making her feel safe, protected, and oddly cherished.

She had known he'd come.

Hadn't given up hope for a second that he was out there. Somewhere. Searching for her.

Opening her eyes again, she looks at him closely, watching as his gaze lingers a little on her hands, staring at the torn skin and purple bruises, his spine still ramrod straight, one hand clenching into a tight fist at his side.

And feeling something foreign and terrifying and yet strangely beautiful seep its way into her veins at the sight, coursing through her and sparking something low in her belly, she doesn't give herself a chance to think—too tired and sore and grateful to allow herself to truly consider her actions. Leaning forward slowly, tilting her head up ever so slightly, she places a hand on either side of his face, the scruff of his beard tickling her palms as she watches with a touch of wry amusement as his eyes flit up to hers—alarm, confusion, and something slightly darker and somewhat thrilling flashing in his stare.

"What are you—"

"Thank you." She whispers it softly, before closing the already small distance between them and brushing her lips over his, once, twice, the gentle nearly chaste contact sending a jolt of almost shocking heat straight through her, a part of her appreciating the rough and chapped feel of his lips against hers even as a voice in her head questions her actions; another smaller somewhat calmer tone whispering to her knowingly, acknowledging that this feels right, that this_ is_ right, before she pulls back slowly, eyes fluttering open to find him staring at her curiously, rigid disbelief stamped across his rugged features.

"Beth…"

His tone is strained, slightly broken and just a fraction lower than normal, and knowing that he's probably on the verge of hollerin' at her—people don't just go around planting kisses on Daryl Dixon—she pulls further away from him, her body protesting the loss of his warmth as she settles back on the bed slowly, the tension coiled up inside of her fading gradually as she lays down on the springy and creaking mattress, her tongue sneaking out of its own accord to trace her lips.

And there's not even a small part of her that regrets it—the brief kiss, the enticing heat, and the earthy taste of him—everything implanted in her brain and permanently committed to memory.

"Don't go." she murmurs it quietly, closing her eyes as she feels rather than sees him move further from her on the bed, her slight high beginning to fade as numbing and unyielding exhaustion starts to sink in once again. Reaching out a hand, eyes still closed, impending sleep slowing her movements, she touches his arm, feeling him stiffen a little beneath her fingertips, the sound of his sharp intake of breath drifting to her slightly buzzing ears.

"Stay." Her voice is small and bordering on weak, but too tired to care, she disregards the pathetic sound completely, selfishly too concerned with her own wants and needs to let it really bother her. Cracking open an eye, she swallows over the sudden lump that has formed in her throat, forcing back the wave of almost worrying nervousness that's threatening to roll over her. "I mean…can you just sit here for a little while…just—just until I fall asleep?"

He doesn't say anything at first; the silence between them loud and deafening as she holds her breath and waits for him to push her away, for him to roll his eyes and berate her for being naive and weak and helpless and all the things she knows she's not but silently fears he thinks of her anyway.

It takes only a moment before he moves again; the bed creaking and dipping once more as she feels him shifting a little beside her, drawing closer to her ever so slightly, his legs brushing against hers as he pushes himself further up on the mattress so that he's sitting against the wall and facing the bolted up windows and rotting front door—a shock of relief and gratitude spiking through her and a small smirk pulling at the corners of her mouth as he settles in next to her.

"Okay." He mutters, gaze focused on the door, one hand resting on the crossbow that lays at the edge of the bed, the other tapping out some random beat on his upper thigh. "Okay."

Closing her eyes again, she sighs softly and allows herself to pretend, for just a moment, that the last few days of fear and worry and dread and despair hadn't happened, chasing the dark thoughts and memories away—the distant sounds of her own hopeless screams echoing in her ears and fading away as her breathing evens out and she finally allows herself to relax.

And if she feels the barest hint of a touch ghost its way across her battered wrists, lingering for only a moment as she hovers on the cusp of unconsciousness, she doesn't even flinch, too afraid to show it, terrified she'll scare him away.

Instead she sleeps.

And he stays…

* * *

**Review?!**


	2. Chapter 2

_**First off lksjfkljfdslkjfdskljdslkjdsf! Man, I wasn't expecting the first chapter to get that response...17 reviews? Thank you? I know this fandom is a bit smaller from CS (what I usually write for) so I was so pleasantly surprised to find so many people enjoyed what I had posted!**_

_**Tumblr prompt** :can you do something involving nightmares and one of them being calmed down by the other?_

_**I originally posted this as a stand alone piece but have decided to just go ahead and add it to this (hopefully) growing collection of one-shots, so if you have already read it when it was originally posted under the title ''In Dreams' and were expecting something new...apologies.**_

**_*mentions of some of the most recent spoilers*_**

**Also, I've taken a few liberties—loosely follows current plot, picking up after they flee the prison together...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Walking Dead.**

**Review please! :)**

* * *

It doesn't take long after they escape the prison for the nightmares to catch her.

The first time it happens it's Maggie's face she sees behind closed and fluttering eyelids—just outside the burning prison walls, the dim moans and dull grunts of the surrounding walkers ring in her ears.

She can't breath, can barely think, only capable of reacting.

She fights her sister off frantically; Maggie's body heavy on top of hers, her eyes dark and blank and her face decaying; the rotten stench of death burning her nose as jagged teeth snap out suddenly and dig into her shoulder, ripping into her flesh—the pain and blood and mangled tissue blending together in a sickening mixture that has her gasping and writhing before Maggie draws back slightly, growls, and dives back in for more.

It hurts.

Oh God it hurts.

Devastates her.

_Breaks her._

And unable to contain the clawing heat that's rising in her throat…

She screams out.

Anguish. Despair. Fear. Disbelief.

_Maggie. _

Sobbing, crying loudly, _brokenly,_ her voice a breathless and wheezing mess of stuttering words; another scream is ripped from her as she struggles against the unyielding weight on top of her—a small part of her refusing to believe that any of this is real, a whispered and low voice ringing softly in her ears and urging her to open her eyes, begging her to wake up.

And in her dream the shadows of more approaching and faceless walkers fall over her ominously, blocking out the light as her dead sister's face morphs into her father. Continuing the attack, he quiets her sobbed protests by moving his attentions from her shoulder to her jaw, brutally digging into her skin and tearing it open— her cries becoming muffled and weak as her vision blurs.

When she wakes, finally pulled from her nightmare with a lingering twitch in her cheek muscle and a radiating pain in her shoulder,_ he's_ lying on top of her, hissing in her ear for her to _shut 'er damn trap_—hand over her mouth, blue eyes bright with a mixture of fear and fury as he quietly berates her for likely drawing the attention of every damn walker within a five-mile radius.

When she stiffens and stills, her sobs coming in short and fading away to nothing more than panting gasps and tiny stifled whimpers against his palm, he moves off of her fast; cursing quietly under his breath before picking up his crossbow and scooting as far away from her as possible, facing the rickety door of the old abandoned cabin they've ducked into for the night without so much as a worried glance over his shoulder.

And as she sits up slowly, eyes avoiding him as she rubs her bare arms gently, she forces her watery gaze to remain on the dirty ground; embarrassment and shame bubbling up inside of her at her pathetic show of unhinged emotion—a taunting voice in her head mocking her for her weakness. Trying in vain to brush away the dampness that burns at her eyes, she lets out a defeated sigh as a numbing coldness settles over her and the hot and angry tears she's fighting to hold back finally begin to fall.

The nightmares stay with her.

Terrorizing her.

Haunting her.

The next time she wakes up screaming, they've set camp deep in the woods near a slow-moving river—the faces of those she fears dead flashing in her head in gruesome detail as she thrashes in her sleep. She just barely has the chance to yell out, notes of despair cutting through the air, before he's there again; this time gentler and less abrasive—hands on her shoulders and voice low in her ear as he tries to shake her out of her terrified state.

Waking, realizing that once again she had only been dreaming—Maggie and the others fate still left uncertain—she shoots him a watery and curious look, biting back a soft sob as she throws herself forward unthinkingly; burying her face into his chest and hugging him fiercely—breathing unsteady and heart beating erratically as he stiffens against her.

But he doesn't push her away.

She cries and mourns those they've lost and those they fear to be dead.

And he doesn't push her away.

After that night he's always there, before the screaming starts, stirring her from the unyielding darkness and drawing her out of her unconscious grief with uncharacteristically gentle hands and low and murmured words of awkward comfort.

She comes to rely on it, his watchful presence as she sleeps; the calloused fingers as they quietly wipe away her silent tears, the look of concern that flashes in his usually hard and dispassionate gaze, the way he eventually softens and holds her back whenever exhausted and full of misery she embraces him after being roused from yet another nightmare.

After some time the dark dreams begin to fade, her mind blocking out the terrifying images almost completely, her sleep becoming less and less disrupted. But even so, he's always there, continuing to keep silent vigil and ready to chase away her demons before they have a chance to sneak back up on her and consume her whole.

_He's always there. _

Until, eventually, he's not.

When they take her from him, tearing her away from the only comfort and protection she's known over the past few days…_weeks even_—how long she's been with him she's not entirely sure—she fights and sobs and screams and begs them to let her go. And as the car speeds away, a part of her waits, in vain, for him to wake her up from the cruel, cruel dream that's mercilessly engulfed her.

But he doesn't.

She's alone.

It doesn't take long before the nightmares come back in full force, their vicious brutality jarring her completely. And each time she's pulled from sleep—his face joining the long list of those whose fate she holds uncertain— she cries silently, gut-wrenching tears, hugging herself and muffling her despair with the back of her hands as she wishes and prays to a God she no longer believes exists that he was there…

**_Coda:_**

_She lays awake, staring listlessly at the ceiling, refusing to sleep, afraid, as always, that when she closes her eyes, the terror that she's both lived and imagined while away from her family will steal its way into her brain, torturing her relentlessly as she lays unconscious and helpless to stop it, even as a voice in her head tries to reassure her that she's safe now, her family has found her._

_Still, she can't sleep, too afraid of what she'll see._

_And she's so tired._

_So very, very, tired._

_So caught up in fighting off her exhaustion, she just barely notices his quiet footsteps; her eyes shooting from the ceiling above her to track his movements as he approaches her cot without a word and drops down next to her, shifting his weapon and sitting close enough to be within arm**'**s reach but far enough away so that they're not entirely touching._

_"Sleep."_

_There's not even a small part of her that considers arguing with him._

_And when she closes her eyes, all her tired mind registers is his quiet presence keeping silent guard, prepared to strike down each and every horror that threatens to come her way…_

_That night she doesn't dream at all._

* * *

**_Review?!_**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Anonymous tumblr prompt:** Fic prompt "breathless" bethyl please :)**  
**_

***mentions of recent spoilers*  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Walking Dead.**

**Re-posting per request, everything from here on out will be new(er) pieces.**

**Please review! :)**

* * *

She's been holding her breath.

From the moment_ they_ took her, she's been holding her breath.

Afraid, always so afraid to relax, desperate not to let her guard down.

And now, _now,_ as Maggie calls her name, high-pitched and almost hysterical—everything blurring together in front of her as her mind races, her heart pounds, and her knees tremble uncontrollably—she still can't breathe.

They found her.

_Finally. _

After sleepless nights of near frantic worry, endless days of struggling to hold in her tears, the growing and gnawing feelings of despair and hopelessness weighing heavily inside of her, the fear of never seeing any of them again nearly consuming her whole…

They have, finally,_ finally_ found her.

And she can barely breathe.

She can't even think, hardly able to react.

And she hates herself for her lack of response. Deep down she knows she's thrilled, overjoyed, elated, and ecstatic—she can feel it, the churning emotions, the chaotic mess of feelings. But still, her body remains almost numb with cold and unrelenting disbelief.

And dammit she can't breathe.

Her chest tightening, her throat narrowing, she feels the dizzying effects of the lack of oxygen work its way to her head—a part of her still refusing to accept what she's seeing, too afraid to latch onto the hope that this isn't some cruel,_ cruel,_ dream; terrified that she'll wake up alone and scared in an unfamiliar place with people who will never pass as her family, even as a voice inside of her head reassures her that somehow, someway her home has found her.

Eyes blurred by both lack of sleep and the heavy threat of tears, they flit over her sister's fast approaching figure, wildly searching for something to ground her, to give her some semblance of control as she stands rooted to the spot on shaky and weak legs, only stopping when her frantic gaze lands on a dark silhouette that's standing a few feet away from the group—something spiking hot inside of her as she takes in the sight of his quiet and aloof presence.

Heart pounding rapidly, throat constricting painfully, she lets Maggie wrap her arms around her tightly, enveloping her in a nearly suffocating embrace, her muddled brain barely registering the broken sob that tumbles from her sister's lips before a string of unintelligible words—apologies, endearments, mumbled affections—drift to her ears.

Eyes staying on and locking with bright and steely blue—the tightness in her chest slowly residing as he studies her carefully from a distance—cautiously she raises heavy arms and tentatively hugs her sister back, falling forward limply into Maggie's firm and unyielding hold.

And as she sees a flicker of something—shadowed relief, pained concern, a touch of hope—flash in his stare, she allows herself a tiny whimper, followed by a sharp and greedy inhale of breath; the burning sensation of hot air filling her lungs coupled with the heated awareness of his watchful gaze, reassuring her that finally, _finally,_ it's okay to breathe again.

* * *

**_Review?_**


	4. Chapter 4

_***Oh my God you guys I'm so sorry for all the confusion my last update caused. After I posted Ch.4, I saw a few errors and edited them, but instead of re-uploading this bad boy here I uploaded a chapter from one of my CS fics. Confused? Yeah...so were a lot of you. So so so sorry. I'm sure a lot of you were reading the chapter like WHAT THE EFF IS THIS? Spoiler alert: I'm a spaz and these things happen. That being said here is the CORRECT chapter. Hope it makes up for any initial confusion some of you may have experienced!***_

_**RebelGeneral on asked**: prompt for silhouettes - beth tending to daryl's wounds on his back and seeing his scars. I think that would be an interesting and fascinating read, ive been dying to see how she would respond to that :) and i think he would feel so vulnerable...  
_

**I decided to make this fairly vague in terms of timeline, you as the reader can headcanon it, placing it wherever you'd like.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TWD.**

**Review please! :)**

* * *

The silence in the small dimly lit room is nearly deafening, the air heavy and thick and all too still.

Attempting to focus on her task, she carefully wrings out the wet cloth in the small bowl in front of her, the sound of trickling water breaking the tense and uncomfortable quiet. Eyes downcast and focused on the chipped and worn dish, her hands shake a little as she sucks in a deep breath and clears her throat, shifting her attention to the man sitting rigidly in front of her—his spine ramrod straight, head tilted down and breathing slightly heavy. Gaze drifting over the large bloodied gash that mars his dark and dirty skin, she pulls her lower lip into her mouth, worrying it gently between her teeth as she stares, unblinking, at his naked back, noting with a lump in her throat the scars, both old and new—smooth faded white and rough and jagged pink—that accent his most recent wound. And as her eyes roam over the sight carefully, drinking in every broken and gruesome detail, she bites a little harder on her lip, stopping only when she tastes blood, clenching her jaw together tightly as she tries to push down the jarring pang that has suddenly settled deep inside her chest.

"Just gonna sit there and stare all day?" his voice is low—a raspy and rough growl—and starting a little at the sound, she tears her eyes away from his torn and battered flesh, trying to steel herself a little as she attempts to collect her jumbled and scattered bearings.

She won't cry.

Not now.

Not in front of him.

Not _for _him.

He'd never forgive her for it.

"Might sting a little." she whispers the words in a soft apologetic tone, and his answering grunt followed by a swift shrug of his shoulders—tight muscles rippling with the small movement—does nothing to soothe her frazzled and frenzied nerves.

Reaching out tentatively, she wipes the wet rag over the bleeding wound once, wincing a little at the way he stiffens with the touch—a quiet curse hanging in the air between them at the barely there stroke. Pausing, rag hovering over his skin, she hesitates for a moment, swallowing over her suddenly narrowed throat as she freezes, terrified of hurting him any further—the map of his pain laid out before her nearly unbearable, even as she silently acknowledges that the dirtied cut needs to be cleaned and dressed, reminding herself that now is not the time to be weak.

A panicked voice in her head whispers she's not strong enough for this.

A calmer, somewhat louder one assures her that she is.

"Go on."

There's a clear and lingering note of loathing in his tone, the sound drawing her attention back to him, her eyes widening a little as she watches his hands curl into tight fists at his sides, his spine stiffening, if possible, even more, eyes still shadowed and averted from her searching gaze. And whether he's upset with her or himself she's not entirely certain, a feeling in her gut strongly suggesting the latter as something fierce and protective sparks to life inside of her, itching to soothe, wanting to reassure him that he could never ever disgust her.

The mere thought makes her cringe.

The gathering wetness in her eyes burning and stinging and threatening to spill over.

Words of comfort and support on the tip of her tongue, she bites them back, opting to remain silent instead, knowing he'd appreciate it, _prefer it_—intent on doing what she can for him, determined to erase away as much of his pain as possible.

Blinking back the infuriating and frightening prick of tears as she raises her free hand slowly, her trembling fingers skim the raised and rough skin in front of her, following the path the now bloodied cloth had taken, watching carefully as he stiffens even further—hands flexing once, breath coming in sharp at the gentle and feather-light touch.

He hates this.

She knows he does.

Being cared for, touched, and tended to.

Straightening a little, mind racing and ears buzzing, she tries to collect herself once more, taking note with a vague sense of awe the sight of her skin, smooth and pale, against his, rough and dark, as she dips the rag into the bowl again and lifts it, sliding it slowly over his torn and bruised flesh, watching somewhat dazedly as the water trails down his back in reddish brown streaks.

Neither of them speaks again as she continues her work.

And as the silence around them grows, the tension rising in almost visible waves, she focuses on the chore. Working carefully, _diligently_; she pushes away her grief and concern, trying to steady the jump in her pulse as her mind cruelly attempts to place just how he got each and every scar—made-up scenarios flashing in her head in crushing and vivid detail...

A drunken angry father.

A stupid and senseless bar fight.

A mean and ruthless brother.

Annoyed with herself, frustrated with the images as they harshly taunt her, she attempts to harness what's left of her slowly dwindling strength, her emotions threatening to take over and consume her whole. Squaring her shoulders and pushing her feelings aside—despair, panic, fear, compassion, sadness—she continues to clean him up, her lower lip finding its way between her teeth again when he hisses out a short breath as she picks up a small set of tweezers and gently digs out what ingrained debris she was unable to wash away.

She's not sure how long they stay like that; the soft glow of the candles around them providing her only light, the scent of dirt and blood and sweat hanging in the air, the mingled sound of their heavy breathing disrupting the quiet, her eyes squinting and focused, his cast down to the floor. It seems like an eternity; seconds tick by into minutes, and minutes drag on into forever, until eventually, _finally_, she's smoothing a bandage over him, and wiping her dampened brow with her forearm; her legs shaky and weak as she moves away from him slowly, a soft and uneasy breath slipping past her lips as he grabs his shirt and throws it over his head.

And gathering her things—tired and watery eyes fixed on her task, unsteady hands stained with his blood—she stills, freezing completely, as he stands up quickly, his body brushing against hers ever so slightly, dirt covered hand reaching out towards her and stopping just short of touching before pulling back abruptly.

"Beth..." his voice is hoarse and raspy and the deep tone startles her a little, tweezers dropping back into the small dish with a soft clang, her gaze snapping up to meet his—bright and vibrant blue staring at her hard and searching, the intensity of it stealing the breath from her lungs as she tilts her chin up, angling her head just so. Holding her stare for a moment, body shifting, moving towards her slightly before drawing further away, his eyes implore hers silently, their dark depths sparking with varied emotions and a handful of unsaid words.

She can see the gratitude there, vague and uncertain, shadowed only by a desperate and unspoken plea...

The last thing he wants is her pity.

Silence continuing to linger, only drawing out the tension between them as neither of them move, uncertain what to do and unsure what to say, she finally clears her throat and nods once, offering him a tiny tremulous smile, watching with a dim sense of relief as the stiffness eases from his shoulders fractionally and he shoots her what passes for a small and forced smirk, before tearing his gaze from her and turning away, heading towards the door on the far side of the room—his stride a little less fluid than usual, a slight limp to his gait.

It isn't until she hears the door open and close behind him—a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding in whooshing out of her lungs in one fast stuttering puff of air—that she slowly lowers herself to the ground, her legs threatening to give out on her as she continues to linger on the sight of his damaged and marred back—images of the twisted and angry flesh permanently implanted into her brain.

And as her tears fall, sliding down her cheeks in wet and damning trails, she silently promises herself_ and him_, that this will be the one and only time she ever cries for him...

For his past.

For what he was.

For what he wasn't.

Before she locks it up and puts it away...

* * *

**Review?! ;)**

******P.S.- Thanks so much for all the amazing reviews you've already left as well as the follows, and favorites! I appreciate it all so so so much! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**tumblr prompt:** bethyl first kiss maybe once they are all somewhere safe and feeling less vulnerable. I like how you mix fluff and angst with bethyl so nothing overly sweet please!

**_I really did try to give you both sweet and angst but I might be a little bit heavier on the sweet. Which is odd for me. But who knows. Half the time I'm told my fluff is actually poorly concealed angst so…*shrugs*…_**

**_Also, I left the timeline and location fairly vague and just wrote this with the mindset that, as your prompt suggested, they feel somewhat safe and not so vulnerable…_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own TWD  
_**

**_REVIEW! ;)  
_**

* * *

She knows he doesn't think he's good enough for her.

Too old.

Too worn.

Too crass.

Too much.

_Not enough._

Nothing but a redneck with a decent aim and a knack for survival.

A broken man who let her down.

And she knows she should be mindful of his apprehension, should respect his fear, and doubt and misplaced sense of _guilt._ But in a world where everything is so dark and bleak and cruel and cold, she's not selfless enough to give him up and let him go, not when he makes her feel safe and warm and excited and _alive._

Not when she's fully aware how fast everything can be ripped away.

_Gone forever._

So, because she's tired and frustrated, and yes maybe even more than a little terrified, she stops thinking for a moment, shuts off her brain, and just gives in and _acts_—swallowing his usual string of protests by pressing her lips against his and silencing him abruptly.

It might almost be funny, the surprised little grunt he makes at the contact, the way his entire body stiffens and tenses; that is, of course, if the whole world hadn't decided to stop spinning at that moment, if all the air hadn't decided to just up and flee her lungs entirely.

Still, she's waited long enough— _too long—_for this moment and feeling his lips, warm and just a little chapped against hers, she can't help but lean into him and silently demand _more_— shifting her body just so, a part of her appreciating the way they're flushed against each other while another part of her, a slightly less coherent part, revels in the fact that he hasn't pulled away just yet.

Quite the opposite actually…

He makes another noise in the back of his throat, the tiny groan sounding almost pained, somewhat defeated, and then his lips are moving against hers roughly, his tongue darting out to tangle with hers in a dominant almost sloppy rhythm, until he's finally, finally, giving in and taking what she's so shamelessly offering.

And she loves it.

Thrills in it.

The scruff of his beard scratches her skin, and she relishes the harsh and abrasive feeling; his hands, big and rough and slightly clumsy, sweep up and down the sides of her body in random and uncertain movements, as if he doesn't know how to use them—what to do with them, where to put them. And rocking his hips into hers—a quick nearly unconscious jerk of his body—his feet shuffle forward a little, forcing her back until she's pressed up against the wall, until she can feel him, _all of him, _strong and solid against her—her blood thrumming hot in her veins, everything slowing and going slightly hazy.

And she knows she should be careful—their heavy breathing and broken pants sounding like gunfire in the dark and empty hall—but she's thought about this for far too long, imagined exactly what it would be like for too many months—accidental touches and lingering eye contact taking its toll on her—that she just can't help herself, can't stop from giving into the urge to fist her hands into his hair and draw him, if possible, even closer, breathing in the earthy and decidedly male scent of him.

It feels right.

And so very, very little does these day.

Pulling away on a strangled grunt, he presses his forehead against hers and stares at her unblinkingly, sweeping his gaze down her body and then up again, blue eyes dark and focused, the intensity in them so hard and burning that maybe a year or two ago it would have scared her, would have had her backtracking and high-tailing it out of there. But now it only brings a rush of warmth to her belly, a spark of heat dancing across her skin as she meets his eyes somewhat defiantly, refusing to look away from his silent and heavy appraisal—chests heaving, kiss-swollen lips mere inches apart.

"Shouldn't be doing this…"

His voice trails off, gruff and hoarse, and she can hear the uncertainty in his tone, the nearly frantic plea woven within it—the low and desperate sound bringing a slight shudder to her body, one she's just barely able to suppress. And with his words, the way he's still crowding her—fingers clutching at her hips and digging into her skin almost painfully, his breathing somewhat erratic, and body shaking slightly—she realizes that he's just as damned as she is…too far gone, unable to ignore this thing between them any longer.

And she knows he's silently asking her to.

Needing her to be the one strong enough to walk away…

She can see it in the way he's looking at her, eyes conveying both his deepest wishes and darkest fears.

But she can't.

She can't give him that, can't let him push her away; selfishly she wants him too much, needs him so much that it _physically hurts; _the thought of denying him—_them_—any longer bringing a deep ache to her chest, the pain resonating throughout the rest of her body as she thinks about the grief and terror she had felt when separated from him, the joy at being reunited, and the strong and slightly awkward pull that lingered—_still lingers_—between them as they tried to get reacquainted.

So rather than heed his unspoken request, she pulls back for just a moment, flashes him a soft slightly apologetic smile, and loosening her grip on his hair she shifts and moves her body, drawing her arms from around his neck so that they're wrapped around his waist instead, resting her head against his chest and holding him close in a tight and unyielding embrace—the hammering sound of his heartbeat against her ear soothing her nerves a bit, just another sign that he's just as affected by her as she is by him.

He lets her hold him like that for a little while, his hands still stiffly placed at her hips, his unsteady breathing tickling the top of her head as it comes in and out in broken little bursts. And for now it's enough, the warmth of him seeping into her skin, the familiarity of him making her feel calm and protected and oddly cherished.

And when he brushes his lips over her hair in a gesture that's so awkwardly gentle and endearingly comforting that it brings a surprising prick of tears to her half-closed eyes, she only hugs him tighter, knowing that this moment can't last forever but intent on drawing it out for as long as possible.

Maybe in the morning things will be different.

Harder.

More complicated.

They're both flawed and broken in their own messed up ways and nothing rarely comes easy to anyone anymore.

But with her arms wrapped around him and the world dark and quiet and peaceful for once…

It's enough.

Right now, tonight, it's more than enough…

It's perfect.

* * *

_**REVIEW?**_


End file.
